


HYDRA's Pet

by YourPerfectFlaws



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra Agent Reader (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourPerfectFlaws/pseuds/YourPerfectFlaws
Summary: As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.
Relationships: Avengers Team/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 78





	1. Prologue

June 5th, 1963 ; HYDRA Base

As you receded to your room after your daily training, you realized the building had never been quieter. Quiet. That was a sound you had never heard before. It felt unnatural and it filled the pit of your stomach with an unfamiliar feeling. So, in a desperate attempt to fill your ears with something, you stripped and hopped into the shower. The water was freezing but it had never been warm in the first place.

After washing a week's worth of filth from your body, you exited the shower to find the commander waiting impatiently at your door. You instinctively stood straight and rigid, your towel threatening to slip. He approached you and stared into your eyes with a devilish smirk. He pulled the edge of your towel up your chest and secured it. "We wouldn't want a repeat of last time, soldier, now would we?"

Images of him forcing himself onto you flashed in your mind and it took all the strength you had to hold in the tears that threatened to spill. "No, sir," you choked out. He grabbed your face and forced you to look him in the eyes again.

He stared down at you with apathy. "That's a shame," he said, removing his hand and placing it on your cold shoulder. "Next time, ask before you shower."

"Yes, sir."

He paused before turning towards the door. "Get dressed and head to the Block for further instruction." And with that, he left.

His orders caused a nauseated feeling within you. But, you could do nothing to stop your body from moving. You dressed quickly and made your way towards the Block, an area of the base where Dr. Hofstadter had overseen all of your enhancements and given you powers that even a god would dream of.

You stood in the entryway and scanned the room. The beds were recently sanitized and there was new machinery around the examination table. Though the sight of the medical tools was nothing new, it still gave you a sick feeling in your stomach.

You were gestured in by the Commander as he stood in the group of other high ranked officials as well as interns and medical professionals with clipboards. You stood at attention in front of him, eyes on his uniform. "Awaiting further instruction, sir."

He smiled and the group of people with him began whispering to each other. Just then, the doctor came into the room and sighed. "Good evening, Commander. Are we ready?"

The Commander turned to him. "Yes, doctor." He gestured for you to have a seat on the medical bed. When you didn't move he grabbed your face and forced you to look at him again. "Sit."

Your body obeyed his command and you walked stiffly to the bed and sat down. Your heart felt as though it was pounding in your ears. It was all you could hear. Two large men pushed you into the table and strapped you down. One of them placed a piece of leather between your teeth. You looked to the doctor with wide eyes, though his contained no remorse.

"Now, try to relax. This serum won't work if you're too tense." He placed his hand on your shoulder and willed you to relax, which was something you were not accustomed to doing.

The next thing your felt was the needles piercing your skin. You looked to find the dark liquid inside the machine emptying into your bloodstream. Your veins turned dark and burned. You made an attempt to scream but nothing came out. You found that you could not vocalize your agony.

You hadn't realized that you'd passed out until you woke, sweat dripping down your face onto your chest. To your surprise, there were two lumps where there weren't any before and you felt higher up that normal.

The two men came back and unbuckled you from the medical bed. You stumbled out onto the floor, hair in your face, as the Commander regarded you analytically. He ordered you to stand and you did so rigidly. You used to be just barely up to his chest but now you stood at eye level with the man.

Then, another man was brought into the room. He had long, shaggy bark hair and a metal arm. She looked at the man and then at her Commander. He smirked at her. "Beat him, soldier."

You sized the man up. You came up to his chin as he was much taller than anyone in the room. He seemed slightly reluctant to fight you but your body didn't care. It was extremely difficult but soon, the man was pinned into the ground and you were on top of him, breathing heavily.

"Look at how powerful she is! This is a new dawn for HYDRA." The doctor's voice rang through the room. The man underneath you struggled and you eventually got off of him. "She is our hope."

The Commander had watched your victory with a feeling of mild amusement.

"So what I'm hearing is..." He paused, contemplative, while turning to the doctor.

"She's ready for the president."

**Note: The commander is referring to the assassination of JFK. He was assassinated November 22nd 1963.**


	2. Initiate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

_Anything italicized is in Russian (cuz my dumbass don't speak Russian and I'm not about to use google translate and then put the translations at the end when half of them aren't even correct it's just a waste of time and effort)_

_January 16th, 2017 ; HYDRA Base_

_**Crack!** _

The loud smack of Juno's ruler echoes around the rusty training room. You squinted as you sparred with your opponent, a young redheaded girl several doors down from you. She shrieked at the noise, unfamiliar with Juno's teaching strategies, which gave you an opening.

You closed the gap between the two of you and gave her a swift punch to the cheek. She flew to the side of the ring but got up quickly and you both went back to circling each other. She attempted to throw a punch at you but you blocked it by grabbing her wrist and sending a swift kick to her abdomen.

She cried out and fell to the floor, attempting to scramble back up but you kicked her square in the face to knock her down again. She was conscious but didn't try to get back up.

**_Crack!_ **

Juno's ruler again. She stepped into the ring and gave a small glance to the girl before sizing you up. " _Since she isn't learning from me, maybe she will learn from you._ " She pushed your chest as you stood there blankly. She turned away from you and roughly pulled the girl up. " _She will be vital to HYDRA's regime, as you are. Don't try to make this any more difficult than it is, soldier._ "

Juno turned back to you and folded her toned arms over her chest. " _If you can't even teach her the basics then you'll be put in the chamber."_

You couldn't help the grimace of fear that streaked onto your face when she mentioned the chamber. It pained you to remember spending time in there. You knew you were forbidden from reading the thoughts of a superior like Juno but you couldn't help but sense her anger and frustration as she spat in your face.

" _I will be back in two hours._ " Juno turned to the redheaded girl and sneered. " _You will spar again to show me what you have learned, runt._ " 

You stood still as she left the room, the door groaning as it closed behind her. As soon as she was gone, you relaxed and walked over to the girl, who was shivering in the corner of the ring, and extended your hand to her. She took it hesitantly. Big mistake. You pulled her arm up and around, pushing her to the ground and holding her in place. She shrieked in pain. Her mind was a panic, a jumble of thoughts that were all too easily read.

" _I am going to give you rules and you are going to listen._ " She nodded her head frantically. Desperation. " _Rule one, do not let your guard down. Always be attentive of your opponent. You already failed._ "

You let her go and she scrambled away from you, standing up quickly. She held her fists awkwardly in front of her. Feeling her insecurity, you sighed as you sized her up. " _You have no balance. You're skinny, no muscle, and you're slow. Your posture is horrible and whatever you're doing right now is completely wrong._ "

You marched up to her and pushed her fists in the correct position. " _Spread your legs shoulder width, eyes up— you always want to be looking straight at your opponent— and straighten your back and shoulders."_ You moved in front of her to examine her stance. It wasn't perfect but it was better than what she was originally doing. _"Now punch me._ "

She stared at you for a second, feeling surprised, before throwing the weakest punch you had ever seen at your face. You blocked it and sighed, pushing her fist away. " _No, that was weak. Don't be afraid to hurt your opponent and use all of your strength. Exhale sharply with each punch and drive your elbow rather than your fist into each punch. Try again._ "

She made another attempt to punch you, with you blocking it again, and this time it was decent enough to do _some_ damage. You nodded your head. " _That was better."_ She felt an emotion you couldn't describe. _"This time try moving around and actually hitting me. If you can do that I will give you a water break._ "

It takes her a while before she figures out how to fake a punch and she lands one on your shoulder. She smiles at you, filled with pride, and you notice she has a tooth missing. She couldn't have been more than 13 years old and seemed almost too naive to be working for HYDRA. You roll out your joints before joining her for a much needed water break.

The both of you fall into an awkward silence, neither of you knowing what to say, while hunched over on the ground of the ring. After a while you decide you'd had enough of the silence and ask her for her number.

" _Oh, I'm Unit 9813_." She takes another long drink. " _You?_ "

" _Project 103._ " You scratched your eyebrow. " _Taken or raised?_ "

Images of her family flashed through her mind and a bitter, melancholic feeling crept into yours. She waited a few seconds before responding. " _Wait wha—_ "

**_BANG!!!_ **

You turned to see the door shaking on its hinges. Out of nowhere, the Commander barged into the room and shouted for attention. Without missing a beat, you stood tall and stiff, waiting for orders, while 9813 rose slowly and shrank into herself. You sensed that she had never met the Commander and felt intimidated.

A look of surprise dawned on his wrinkly face and his icy eyes darted between the two of you. He was not informed of this training session. He cleared his throat and addressed 9813.

" _Unit, you may leave. Head to the deck, they're heading into the tunnels,_ " he ordered. She saluted in a panic and scurried off.

He turned back to you and you sensed a feeling you couldn't describe. He then recited _the words_ and everything around you faded into black. You were returned to the familiar darkness of your mind. Though you knew it well, you didn't like it one bit.

You could see the Commander regarding you with a strange expression as your body waited for instructions. You were in soldier mode now.

" _Initiate order 423E7X._ "

Your body saluted. " _Yes sir._ "

He pressed his lips into a thin line and walked back towards the door. " _Soldier... goodbye for now,_ " he whispered before leaving.

You were left with nothing but silence and an order. Even though you had no idea what was happening, your body seemed to have everything under control as it marched out of the training room, down the long, dimly lit hallway, and into the general work area. The lights flickered as you stepped among the tools and materials strewn about. It definitely appeared as though they had left in a hurry. You were not looking forward to whatever you were supposed to do. 

You watched as you climbed the pipes along the walls and pushed yourself onto the maintenance rafters and waited. Eventually you heard the sound of careful footsteps and hushed voices entering the building.

It wasn't long before you saw the beams of flashlights as they neared your hiding place. Being in your mind was beginning to feel terrifying and watching the strangers enter the work area sent shivers down your spine.

They were wearing strange outfits and sported weapons you'd never seen before, though somehow something about them seemed oddly familiar. One of them stood by the entryway while the other two quietly searched the room. Then, the one with the red hair looked up to see you sitting there staring at them.

"Umm, guys..." 

They shined their flashlights up to you as you sat there looking dejected. One of them gasped and placed his metal hand over his glowing chest.

"Oh shit! She scared the crap out of me." He bent over and placed his hands on his knees, which made a clink sound, and looked up at his teammates. "Guys, I think I'm gonna need a new suit." He looked between them, both of whom stared at him unimpressed. 

"Hey are you alright, creepy girl?" The other man with the bow asked.

You said nothing and continued to stare down at them.

"Okayyy well we're going to have to take her with us." The ginger woman pressed her earpiece. "Hey we found someone." She continued to notify other members of their team about finding you while one continued sweeping the building and the other climbed up to you.

"Do you speak English?" He asked you as he offered his hand for you to take. You didn't want to take it but it seemed your body had other ideas. 

" _No one is here._ " Unsurprisingly, your voice sounded robotic and completely different from what it normally was. The blonde man stared at you with pinched brows but lightly chuckled to himself.

"I'll take that as a no." You noticed he didn't have the earpiece that the other two had. He had two and they looked different.

He pulled you against his chest and climbed back down the pipe, gently letting you go once on the ground. In your soldier state, you couldn't feel his emotions or hear his thoughts, but your "soldier self" could, which was more than frustrating.

You blacked out for a brief period of time and came back to consciousness, still inside your mind, to see yourself fighting the man who had brought you down from your perch.

He shot arrow after arrow at you and the few you managed to dodge were out-healed and slowly came out of your body. You threw tools at him and he was dodging them with the agility of someone who'd been doing it for years.

The other two came back after hearing the commotion and didn't hesitate to join the fight. "Clint, what happened?" The redhead asked as she caught a wrench you had thrown.

"One second—" he shot another arrow at you, hitting you in your thigh. "—we were all fine and dandy and the next—" he ducked to dodge a screw driver. "—she was throwing shit."

"Alright, that's enough," the metal guy said as he shot a beam of energy at you with his hand. You managed to dodge it before getting hit in the head with a hard object and slumping onto the floor with a dull thump. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't ask how the Commander guy isn't dead by now, I don't know either.
> 
> Let me know if you liked it and if there is anything I should fix! Have a great day and stay safe!


	3. Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

_January 18th, 2017 ; Unknown_

When you woke, you were in a grey room lying on a cot, out of your soldier state. You made an attempt to sit up but began to panic when you felt a metal choker around your neck. Since trying to pry it off was futile, you steadied your breathing and scanned the room.

The area was immaculately clean but extremely minimalist. There was an armchair underneath a camera in one corner and a small bedside table near the cot. A large, steel door sat across the room and from what you could tell it was thick and heavy. There was most likely a key pad on the other side and would not budge if you attempted to ram into it.

You tried feeling out for anyone's mind with yours but you couldn't seem to even feel your own. Perhaps it was the collar. It was strange being unable to hear the thoughts and feel the emotions of others.

You figured there was nothing you could do to escape so you lied back down on the cot and stared up at the ceiling, collecting your thoughts. The Avengers had taken you... but to where? Their tower? Their compound? Maybe you were in a special jail? That seemed likely. You were dangerous and therefore a threat.

It wasn't long before someone entered, the sound of beeping— a code being punched in— and then the screeching groan of metal hinges. The man who stood before you was someone that you _knew_ was your enemy. Captain America. He stood there, hands to his sides, and exhumed patriotic confidence.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "Hello, my name is Steve Rogers and I am a part of the Avengers. I'm here to help you. Can you tell me your name?" He attempted to step closer but you hid behind your fists.

Statistically you had a 57% chance of beating him in a fight— the number would be much higher if your Commander were here— but not knowing what was on the other side of the door made your chances of getting past him exponentially lower. You realized that remaining silent would not be an option if you wanted more information.

"Where am I?" You asked in your best English. You only ever spoke in English when you were on missions. You could understand it better than you could speak or write it. Though, it seemed to get your message across. He smiled at you, which seemed nearly genuine. 

"I could tell you... but you're going to have to answer some of my questions first." He sat down in the armchair that was underneath the camera and regarded you with a light smile. "You don't have to be hesitant around me, I brought no weapons and I'm not here to hurt you." 

You could feel he was telling the truth so you lowered your fists but never your guard. There was still a chance that he was lying and you refused to let him catch you by surprise. He stared at you for a second before he spoke again. "Are you ready to tell me your name?"

"Project 103," You said.

He sat there with pinched brows for a few seconds. "No, I mean your _real_ name. The one that your parents gave you."

 **"HYDRA _is_ my parents." **You both reeled back once you said that, it didn't feel like it was you speaking. Your voice had the same robotic tone as when you were in your soldier state. You felt like a puppet again.

"Well, since HYDRA only gave you a number, then why don't I give you a name?" He, once again, smiled at you. You wanted to punch him in his perfect teeth. "How's... Blondie? No? What about Angelina? Emily?" You stared at him as he kept on listing off these foreign names.

It was strange. In the nearly 70 years that you had been alive, no one had ever asked you what you wanted. No one had ever given you a choice. It was clearly a trick, some sort of ruse to lull you into a false sense of security.

So, you were presented with two options. You could either refuse to cooperate resulting in potential punishment or you could continue with your duties as an agent of HYDRA. You were beyond confused about what to do. Normally, your Commander would make decisions for you but seeing as you're alone, you didn't know what to do.

"...Daria ... Amy... Y/n—"

"Yes," you said, not realizing what you were agreeing to. You wanted him to be quiet.

"Y/n? You like that name?"

"Yes." You couldn't care less what they called you.

"Okay, Y/n it is, then." He shuffled his feet and leaned back in the armchair, his calf resting on his knee. "So, Y/n, you mentioned something about HYDRA being your parents. Would you like to talk about that?"

"No."

"That's fine, maybe another time. How about the serum? Do you have any extra abilities that maybe you didn't have beforehand?"

You stared at him, puzzled, for a few seconds before you realized what he was talking about. He meant all of the tests that HYDRA had put you through. All the changes your body made in a short amount of time. All the strange things you could do. 

"Yes." You waited for him to respond but he just stared at you. You realized that he wanted you to explain, which filled your stomach with dread. "I am strong, fast, quick healing, smart, can see in the dark, and remember all the things I see and hear. I can enter minds of others."

He paused for a second before responding. "Okay, so what I'm hearing is you're strong and resilient just like me and you can see in the dark. You also have photographic memory and telepathy. Awesome." He stood up and walked towards the door. "I will be right back, okay?"

"What about my question?" 

He glanced back at you. "You'll know soon enough, you have nothing to worry about."

And with that, he left. The sound of the metal door closing rang throughout the room. You knew that you shouldn't, something in your brain told you not to, but you found yourself drawn to the feeling of power and righteousness that he carried himself with. You began to doubt that he was a bad person. Though, you still hated his patriotic guts.

An hour or so later, he came back in and sat back down in the armchair. He stared at you for a few seconds before he spoke. "Well, I'm going to offer you an opportunity, Y/n." He paused, most likely for dramatic effect. "We would like to recruit you for the Avengers."

You could tell he was trying to gauge your reaction, but you simply stared at him with a blank expression. You were at a loss, you didn't know what to do. being with HYDRA, you were given a direction but now that you were without your Commander's Orders, you were lost. Though, it intrigued you to know why they wanted to recruit you.

"Why?"

That question seemed to throw him off. He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts, before he spoke deliberately. "Well, we believe that you will be a valuable addition to this team," he said with a calm tone.

You began to realize that your Commander was waiting for you somewhere out there. So that meant that you had to find him. And, logically speaking, living with the Avengers— though they were your enemies— would be helpful in searching for him.

"Okay."

"Okay? Do you mean that you'd like to be a part of the Avengers?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head. You blinked at him.

"Yes."

"In that case, I will be back." And with that, he got up and left the room. You stared at the door as it shut loudly, wondering what would be in store for you when he returned.


	4. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

_January 18th, 2017 ; Avengers Compound_

After coming back in to check on you, Steve told you that you'd have to stay the night in the compound and then you'd be introduced to the rest of the Avengers in the morning. And when you woke up, you saw him standing in front of the door with a pair of shiny, metal cuffs in his hand. You looked at them and then back up at him with your heart pounding in your ears.

"They're just a precaution, don't worry," he assured you as he put them on your wrists, as if he was calming a rabid animal. But you weren't even mad because it _was_ working. "It's because we have a few members of the team who aren't sold on you just yet."

He brought you out of the cell— which did have a key pad on the wall next to it— and into an elevator that took you up to the ground floor of the building. There you walked up a flight of stairs and into a lounge area where the entire team was waiting for you.

When you walked through the door, you felt the heat of their stares boring through you. You tried to present yourself with confidence, but it was rather hard considering you were in handcuffs. Among them, you recognized the redheaded woman and the man with the bow. They looked at you without a hint of malice, which surprised you. You would have thought that they would be the ones that opted for you to be cuffed.

Then, a dark haired man approached you with an insincere smile and shook your cuffed hands. Your fought the urge to bring them down on his head.

"Hello... Y/n, was it?" He asked more to Steve than you, who nodded. You recognized his voice as the man in the iron suit. "It's nice to formally meet you, my name is Tony Stark and though I don't appreciate you trying to murder my friends, it seems that this 'star spangled ding dong'—" he threw his arm over Steve's broad shoulders. "—sees some potential in you." 

"Okay, Tony, that's a little harsh," said a man with graying, dark hair, like Tony, but a softer voice. He approached you, along with another man, who had dark skin and extremely short hair. "My name is Dr. Bruce Banner, it's nice to meet you, Y/n." He shook your cuffed hands with a warm smile. 

"And I'm Colonel James Rhodes," the black man said with a firm nod of his head. This prompted the rest of the team to introduce themselves as well all while Tony was giving you threatening looks. You were starting to get the feeling that maybe he didn't like you. But you also didn't really care. 

The redheaded woman was named Natasha Romanoff and the man with the bow was named Clint Barton. There was also Sam Wilson, Thor— who was, by far, the most likable—, and Wanda Maximoff. They had mentioned that there were a few members missing who were too busy to meet you that you'd see from time to time. You didn't really care as long as they left you alone.

"I have question," you asked as they had begun talking among themselves. They turned to you, a few with surprised faces, and waited for you to ask what was on your mind. "What this thing?" You pointed to the metal collar around your neck. 

"Oh that's Wakandan tech. It's a strength suppressor, I think." Tony answered while engrossed in his tablet. He seemed to remember something because he looked up at you and quirked an eyebrow. "Speaking of Wakanda, I'm going to let you know for safety reasons we're sending you there for rehabilitation."

You felt your heart drop. They were going to do _what_? You took a few steps back. Steve noticed your distress and placed a warm hand on your shoulder.

"We've got to get whatever HYDRA put in your head out of it," he clarified. "Don't worry, they've done it before."

You didn't say anything but let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Your nerves ignited at the possibility of more tests. You could practically smell the sanitation solution. The sticky bed. The sharp _tools_.

"Hey, look at me," Steve crouched down so he was at eye level with you. You hadn't realized it but you were staring a hole in the carpet. "You'll be back in no time, I promise." 

You stared at him for a few long seconds. As much as you desperately wanted to, you couldn't feel any hatred or animosity for him. It irked you to think that you were actually starting to like him. _Them_.

"Okay, the ship is here," Tony announced. Well, maybe not him. 

Steve turned to you. "Alright, let's go—"

"Actually, can I take her up? I'd like to have a private conversation with her." Natasha forced herself between the two of you. You watched as Steve's eyebrows knit together and his mouth formed a light frown. "Not anything to worry about, Steve. Just a friendly conversation between women."

Though he could tell that she had ulterior motives, he was in no place to argue with her. So, all he could do was watch as you left with his friend.

As you walked along the pristine corridors, you admired the architecture. It was extremely beautiful but you couldn't help the jealously that stirred within you. You had lived in a dirty, rusty base your whole life and their compound was so spotless and pleasing to look at. You couldn't help but imagine yourself wandering these halls every day.

All of a sudden, Natasha stopped in the middle of the hallway, breaking your train of through. You tilted your head when she swiftly turned to you. Her face was hard and you could tell that she'd been suppressing her anger.

"I know you've got the rest of the team all wrapped around your finger, especially Steve, but I don't trust you." She pointed her finger in your face. You stepped back to avoid a potential attack. "Why don't you have a life before HYDRA got to you? There's nothing but a number in their system."

 **"HYDRA is my parents,"** you said in the same robotic and monotonous voice. Natasha's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. 

"You've said that already. Do you mean that they raised you?"

Something inside you desperately wanted to get on her good side. To be vulnerable in front of someone. It was extremely strange and you'd never felt anything like this before.

"I was told Hydra took me in as baby and raised me in base. They are all I know. They gave me purpose," you explained with difficulty. Then you realized something. "Now that I am here, I do not have one."

Her eyes softened. "How about I give you one then?" She suggested, which surprised you. "Your new purpose is to go through this rehabilitation and come back a new person, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Though it seemed she hated you, she was being undeniably sweet. It wasn't her sweetness that surprised you, but your reaction to it. You could feel your chest lighten and it scared you. The thought of living with these people was becoming more and more appealing and you didn't know what to do.

"Hey, what's wrong? You've been staring off into space for two minutes, Y/n." She placed a soft hand on your shoulder.

Realizing that you appreciated her words, you stood and gave her a firm salute. "Thank you."

"What?" She took a sharp step back, eyes wide. 

"Thank you for giving me purpose, Natasha." You smiled genuinely for the first time since you could remember. Your rising chest felt strange and almost unnatural. 

"You're welcome, Y/n." She returned the smile. "I hope that when you come back, we can both be friends."

"Me too," you said without thinking. It surprised you how easily you said that. 

"We should get going, they're probably wondering what the hell's taking so long." She laughed and you both resumed walking towards your destination. She took you into an elevator and down another hallway. At the end you could see a steel door. 

Outside the door was a large, Wakandan ship. The steely metal gleamed in the sunlight and nearly blinded you as you both approached it. A handsome, dark-skinned man met the two of you halfway and smiled. His expensive looking clothes were as handsome as his face.

"Hello, you must be Y/n. I am king T'challa of Wakanda. It is a pleasure to meet you." He bowed to you and you returned the gesture, though your movements weren't as graceful or elegant as his were. "My sister is waiting for us back home." He then turned to Natasha. "I can take her from here, thank you."

Natasha nodded and said her goodbyes. You watched as she left through the door, which made a loud click when it shut.

T'challa placed a polite hand on your back and walked you to the gleaming steps. You walked up in front of him, the wind blowing right through you, and into the strange ship. You began to wonder what on Earth would be in store for you this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short I'm going to make longer ones in the future!


	5. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

_ January 18th,  _ _ 2017 ; _ _ Wakanda _

When you entered the ship, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before. It looked like it came out of a different dimension. Plus, the seats were so soft you felt like you were about to melt right into them. You looked up to see  T’challa taking a seat in front of you. “Okoye, let’s go.”

Soon, you were in the air and along with the whir of the engine, you could hear your frantic heartbeat in your ears. You clung to the seat while trying to focus on your breathing. All the things that have happened to you within the past two days seemed to cause you to forget your fear of flying. 

It seemed the King noticed your distress because he sat next to you at placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. He started speaking to you in a deliberately calming voice. If it were anyone else, you would have blown up at them for talking to you like a child but there was something about the King that put you at ease. 

After a while you calmed down enough to hold a steady conversation. “I like your clothses,” you complimented, noticing the gold detailing around the collar. He chuckled lightly. 

“Thank you, it’s called a dashiki,” he said while smoothing down any imaginary wrinkles. You repeated the word under your breath, staring at the patterned shirt. He regarded you with a humorous glint in his eyes. “Would you like a pair?”

You nodded slightly. He laughed and scratched his forehead. You noticed how clean and smooth his skin was. He must take really good care of himself. Again, you felt a bubble of jealousy pop within your chest. Though, it didn’t make you angry. In fact, you didn’t even hesitate to compliment him, saying, “You are very handsome.” You gestured to him with your cuffed hands. His eyes widened and he gave you a nervous laugh. 

“We’re almost there, my King.” You heard a feminine voice from the cockpit call to T’challa. He stood and made his way to the cockpit. Not wanting to be alone, you carefully moved in the middle of the two seats and gazed out at the forest below.

“This is the best part.”  T’challa smiled, watching as Okoye flew the ship dangerously close to the trees. Your stomach rolled. 

“We will crash!” You clutched the seat in front of you, knuckles turning white. If the collar wasn’t still on your neck, then the seat would have bent under your force. 

They both laughed and continued. And you soon saw why. 

Instead of crashing into the forest floor, it was as if there was a screen in front of you that glitched. Suddenly, there wasn’t a forest anymore. You stood there in awe at the sight in front of you. The futuristic buildings gleamed under the luminous sun, making the entire city glow with a warm, yellow light. 

You steadied yourself against the co-pilot's chair as Okoye brought the ship down onto a large landing pad in front of a gleaming building. 

As soon as you stepped foot outside of the ship, you were hit with a wave of relief. It felt good to be out of there and on solid ground. The King sent Okoye to do something you didn’t catch— you were watching a young woman speed walk up to the two of you. 

She bowed to  T’challa extravagantly. “Your majesty.”

“Ah, stop that.” He swats his hand at her. “This is Y/n. She needs the algorithm you used on Barnes.”

You straightened your back, putting on a mask of confidence as he introduced you. The woman turned to you and sized you up, a delicious grin spreading across her lips. “What up? I’m Shuri, I’m nineteen, and I never fucking learned how to read.”

This caused  T’challa to scold her for her language— even though you didn’t know what part of her introduction was wrong— and lying about her age. You assumed she was younger than what she said— she definitely appeared to be. 

Shuri began laughing, which to you sounded like bells, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m just having fun, brother, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not my fault you’re too old to understand that reference.” 

“I am sure she is older than I am,”  T’challa responded, gesturing to you. He most likely received your file from the Avengers. 

Shuri gasped, placing a dramatic hand over her heart. “Don’t you know it’s rude to assume a woman’s age?”

“1953.” They both looked at you with confused expressions.  Shuri seemed to be surprised by your voice. You probably had a strange accent, just like them. “I was born on 1953.”

“You’re more than sixty years old?”  Shuri gaped at you, sizing you up again. “Jesus, woman, what’s your secret? How do you look so young?” 

“ Shuri , we have a job to do remember?”

“No,  _ I _ have a job to do.” She turned to her brother, who was staring at her with a deadpanned expression. She waved her hand at him before saying, “you just sit there looking pretty. Come on, let’s hurry.”

You followed the two of them into  Shuri’s lab like some sort of lost puppy. For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest watching the two of them bicker playfully. It reminded you how deeply alone you were. 

You had nobody but Hydra for the longest time and now you don’t even have  _ that _ . And although you had partners for missions and such, you never had anyone permanent in your life like the Commander was.  But the relationship before you  was nothing like the one you had with him. It was entirely different. There wasn’t one person having control over the other, they both just seemed at ease and comfortable. And you wanted that. 

Shuri stopped in her tracks, tearing you away from your train of thought. She held her arms out and smiled. “Welcome to my technological Disneyland.” She threw a pointed look at her brother. “Except I’m Walt Disney.”

“I never said I was taking you there, you just assumed.” He folded his arms over his chest, tilting his head at her. They began to bicker again as you observed the room below. You had never seen anything like it. The spiraling ramp around the thick pillar— filled with colorful artwork— was made entirely of lights that illuminated your boots as you walked. There were white display tables along the circular walls of the room, showing off invention after invention. Other people in white robes were working on projects along the tables. 

“You made this?” You asked, observing the gadgets in front of you. 

“ Hell yeah I did!” She came up behind you and began demonstrating how one of them worked. You stared at her in awe. 

“You are very  smart; I could never craft anything like these.”

She thanked you, throwing a smug grin at the King, who sighed. 

“We shouldn’t get off task, we’re here for a reason.”

Shuri waved him off. “Shhh, brother, let her continue.” 

“ _ Shuri _ .”

“Ugh, fine, let’s go.” She linked her arm in yours and pulled you towards a door on the other side of the room. “Come on, Y/n, I want to show you more stuff I made.”

You walked with her,  listening to her ramble on about all the technological advancements and upgrades she’d done within the past month. She led you down a hallway and into another room with similar design as her lab. The two of them walked ahead of you to set something up. 

As soon as you saw the pod, your heartbeat spiked and your stomach dropped down to your feet. You stopped in your tracks and stared at it with wide eyes. Images of the horrors you were subjected to within the Chamber flashed before your eyes. No. There was no way you were going back down. 

You didn’t realize you were walking backwards until you bumped into a work table and knocked over a few supplies. The two of them stopped speaking and turned around to look at you, confusion clear on their faces. “Y/n? Are you alright?” T’challa asked, taking a tentative step towards you. However, you backed up even more. 

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

You stared at them, fear in your eyes, and pleaded in a quiet voice. “Please... don’t... I am sorry.” Your knees gave out and you sunk to the floor, pushing yourself into the wall behind you. You felt hot tears race down your face and choked on them. 

They stared at you with pinched brows. You were cowering as  T’challa stepped towards you, kneeling down to your level. “What do you mean?”

Your breathing was loud in your ears. “Please... don’t put me back in...  _ I’ll be better _ ...” You managed to say between gasps. 

“You don’t want to go in the pod?” You continued to hyperventilate, even after he  placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey, breathe. You’re okay.” After coaxing you into controlling your breathing, he held out a firm hand for you to take, which you hesitantly did. Pulling you up, he regarded you with a look of pity. Which again, under normal circumstances you would have told him off. But you didn’t seem to care. 

“Want to talk about it?” You shook your head, finding the floor suddenly interesting. “Well, you’re going to have to go in the pod anyways. It’s the safest way for Shuri to reprogram your mind.” 

“But I did something wrong?” 

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Shuri placed a hand on  T’challa’s shoulder. “Brother, I think they used the pod as a punishment.” She moved around him, taking you gently by the hand. “Come on, Y/n, I’ll set you up with a screen.” 

You followed, hesitantly of course, as she led you to a secluded area where there was a flat cot that was somehow levitating. You stared at it as she called over a few assistants. She came back and instructed you to lay down, explaining that they were going to do the procedure on the cot instead of in the pod. 

As you laid down on the cold metal surface, you wondered what they would do to your mind. You watched as the assistants inserted the IV and gave you a dose of anesthetics. And as you nodded off, you thought of your Commander and what he would say if he saw where you were now . 

. 

Shuri watched you go under as she brought up the holograms, bringing them closer so she could see better. Her brother was in another room talking with the merchant tribe leader so he’d left the two of you alone. 

She watched for a moment as your chest rose and fell as you lay unconscious on the cot and she had to admit it was  kinda surreal — when you walked in here you had either a frown on your lips or tears in your eyes. So, seeing with such a peaceful expression was uncharacteristic and strange. 

“Let’s have a look at your memories, shall we?” She said, more to herself than you, as she pulled up the program. 

She saw a tiny version of you playing around the base with a tall man, giggling as you danced to Russian music, and making snowmen outside. She saw them train you, build your body to become a weapon. She saw your fear when you made a mistake— something that wasn’t easily overlooked with Hydra— and were forced into a pod to live out nightmares. She saw the hundreds of missions you’d been on, some with a man she was quite familiar with, and the countless deaths you caused. And then she saw something else. That same man forcing himself on you made her sick to her stomach. 

“ Shuri , how’s it coming?” At her brother’s sudden voice, she jumped and quickly changed the memory to something else.  But this one was much more violent. She turned around to see her brother walking towards her with knitted eyebrows. 

“What’s wrong? Did you see something?”

“Just this,” she lied, gesturing to the gruesome image. She had a feeling you didn’t want anyone to know about when that man had done to you, especially a King. She didn’t know if you realized what he’d done was wrong or not so she’d have to be as much of a role model to you as she could. 

She watched as her brother examined the content on the screen, shaking his head. You were shooting up several children and the sight made her want to vomit. “What have they done to this poor woman...?” 

“They raised her, brother.” She pulled up the earliest memory she could find. It was of a toddler walking for the first time. The image pulled at her chest, begging for her aid but she knew she could do nothing for her. At least not then. Now, she was going to do everything she could to help you. 

“She was scared, brother, and I know you could see it, too.” She glanced at him, watching his lips draw a fine line. “Hydra was the only place she’d ever  _ known.  _ I’m not surprised to see  _ any  _ of this.”

“Well, we need to do the same thing for her that we did for Sargeant Barnes.”  He stared down at your sleeping face. “She doesn’t know it but she needs help and I’m afraid we’re the only people who can give it to her.”

. 

The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was the steady beat of the heart monitor. You squinted open your eyes to find yourself laying on the same cot with holographic screens around your head and chest. 

You sat up and held your head in your hands, feeling it spin nauseatingly. After the spinning subsided, you stood and walked around the pillar wall and into  Shuri’s lab. You noticed her sitting on a stool and working on a project. 

“Shuri.” You called out for her and she turned to look at you with a light smile. 

“You’re awake.” She put the pliers she was holding down as you approached her. “How are you feeling?”

“Not sure...” You thought for a moment. You felt strange, that much was for sure, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. You felt at ease, like everything was finally coming together. “Calm? Peaceful... Is normal?”

“Well considering our other ex-HYDRA soldier who we performed this algorithm on had the same feelings, I guess that statement could be correct.” She cleared her throat and turned on her stool. 

“So, since you’re supposed to be here for ‘rehabilitation’ or whatever.” She made dramatic air quotes with her fingers. “I guess you’ve got two choices. You can either be put on the same program that Sargeant Barnes is on where you live on the outskirts of the city... or you could stay in the building where me and my brother sleep. It’s all up to you.”

You stared at her for a moment before asking her for a coin. She stared at you in confusion but pulled one from her pocket nonetheless. Since it was difficult for you to make decisions for yourself, you figured having a coin do the work for you would save you a lot of stress. Deeming heads for the outskirts and tails for the inner city, you flipped the coin and caught it, flipping it once more on the back of your hand. It was tails. Inner city it was, then. 

Then, you had a realization. “This Sargeant Barnes... can I meet him?”

“ Sure, but why?”

“Maybe I know him.”

“Craving a familiar  face, I see...” She thought for a moment before springing up from her stool. “Alright, let’s go, then.” 

She linked your arms and you walked with her through the city. She mentioned she’d take you on a tour through Wakanda once you were settled in. She brought you to a small rural settlement filled with children running about, playing with each other, and brought you to a thatched house in front of a glistening river. 

“Sargeant Barnes! I have someone I’d like you to meet!” 

Bucky came out from his hut and smiled when seeing  Shuri . “ Shuri , I told you to — “ But when he saw you behind her, he dropped what he was holding and took a short step back. “What is  _ she _ doing here?”

Shuri looked quizzically between the two of you, him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and you observing a frog that hopped onto the shore. “Huh? Oh, Y/n’s here for rehab. She wanted to meet you for some reason.”

The frog hopped back into the water and you stood up in disappointment. Turning to look at him, you were met with his steely blue eyes. They bore into your head with  fierce intimidation and you couldn’t help but look away. You didn’t recognize him without his arm but there was something familiar about him. 

Noticing your reluctance, Bucky sighed and stepped closer to you and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Bucky, nice to meet you.”

Your eyes widened and you stepped back. You recognized his voice. He was the Winter Soldier. 

He could tell you remembered him so he stepped back and held his hand up defensively, as if attempting to approach a wild animal. But you weren’t a wild animal... were you? You could hear your breathing in your ears, it rang inside your skull like alarm bells. Images and memories of your missions with him flashed before your eyes as you stared at him, unable to move. To  _ run _ . 

“Y/n, Y/n!”  Shuri called to you, breaking your frozen trance. She came between the two of you, staring firmly into your eyes. “You’re fine, he won’t hurt you. He was reprogrammed, too.” 

You steadied your breathing and stood up straight, regarding him dubiously. He hesitated before holding his hand out again for you to shake. You  bit your lip before taking his hand, causing a soft smile to bloom across his rugged features. You figured that this could possibly be the start to a new friendship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this fic took so long, I’ve been having troubles at home and haven’t had much time to sit down and write. I can’t guarantee that part 5 will be out soon either. But it will be out eventually. Patience is a virtue.   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a great day and stay safe!


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